Asimov's SF, March 2006 by Dell Magazine Authors

Author:Dell Magazine Authors
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Science Fiction
Publisher: Dell Magazines
Published: 2010-12-15T07:07:23.691000+00:00

* * *

ALIENS CAPTURED ME, IMPLANTED ALIEN COOKIES IN MY BRAIN, USED ANAL PROBES, LEFT ME NAKED IN A CORNFIELD, AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS T-SHIRT

by Leslie What

Tonight—a calm Northwest eve, geyser warm, with

starry skies that belie the horror of last night, when

my head was set afire, left to burn, flames like brain

locusts devouring a field planted with memories.

The steampunk hum of swamp mosquitoes, a whispering

whine, ebbs and flows, retreats beneath hoots steady as a

clock strike, the call of the Great White Owl haunting my

barn, who seeks out beady-eyed creatures of night.

I sit, twelve-gauge at my side, hoping to save you, dearest

wife, from my unspeakable fate, from those ET pervs

who know by now they have erred, that they needed

a breeder pair, and without you, I'm worthless.

Don't think me silly, don't scoff if, in the terror of dark,

I mistake Farmer Joe's sheep for an enemy invader; it's never

easy recognizing enemies from friends, and your refusal to

believe me suggests only that the aliens got to you first.

—Leslie What

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